Anxiety

This is definitely a self induced illness I give myself! By definition it is an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behavior. It’s also a Black Eyed Peas song! Nervous behavior, check, I have them. Nail biting, hair twirling, teeth clenching, foot taping, knuckle cracking, pen chewing, face rubbing, procrastinating, fidgeting, overspending, overeating…. Yea, good times.  So how do I deal with my anxiety? I try not to let it consume me, sometimes I fail miserably at that. Other times I do ok. I tend to take on way more then I can handle because I’m really bad about saying no to people. I don’t want to let them down. Then I become overstretched and over committed and the anxiety sets in! This is why I work 7 days a week and have 3 jobs. So instead of doing a few things really well, I do a lot of things poorly, at least that’s my opinion. One of my goals is to overcome this. Learn from my mistakes and continue to grow. I want to find enlightenment.  I want to have new health ways to deal with these unpleasant feelings that come to the surface. Hopefully, I can gain self control and reverse the behavioral pattern that I have set for myself.

Precious

One experience that has changed my life happened May 16^th 2013. The school year was winding down and can get a little chaotic. It was a day that started like any other work day. I was at work getting ready to watch our Freshman present their Passages. This is a presentation they have to do at the end of the year to show all the changes, growth and challenges they have experienced in their first year of high school. For most of the freshman, it’s pretty nerve racking. The morning was spent doing lots of final touches to presentations and last minute request for things that might be needed. Copying papers for guests and making sure everyone knew the schedule of events. I work with some really cool people, of course there are some I like more than others. One of my best friends works at my school. He is a great guy, terrific dad and fantastic husband. He is very articulate and thoughtful. He is also very playful and that saved me big time when I first started working at school. He would crack a joke or two just to make me smile and realize, things here are not meant to be taken too seriously. We have always had a very open friendship and share lots of special moments. He has two wonderful kids that I love and a magnificent wife. His family is amazing and welcoming towards me. He was lucky enough to fall in love with a brilliant women that was just the right match for him. She does not take any of his $h!t, in fact she challenges him by serving it right back. He needs this. I, unfortunately, did not get to attend the wedding of these two  majestic people and it really hurt our friendship. They felt like I was unsupportive of their relationship and our friendship became strained and aloof. Things remained cordial between us, but the loving friendship had been bruised. Years passed and time does heal but something else happened on May 16^th. My friend was sick. I saw it in his face right away. He was pale, sweaty and confused. I asked him if he was ok and he told me no. That was a HUGE sign that he needed help. He is definitely not the type of person to openly express his need for help if there is not an immediate necessitate. I got him help as soon as I could, working at a school comes with this great amenity called a Nurse! Hey….I’ll take her over my health insurance any day of the year! Immediately the nurse told him he needed to go to the hospital, the catch was she wanted to call the ambulance. My friend is prideful like most people and did not want to accept a ride in an ambulance. Our nurse stayed firm in her decision and made the call. Four strong life responders came and took my  friend away on a gurney. Within 15 minutes he had a heart attack. Thankfully he was exactly where he needed to be and had incredible caring people throughout the whole ordeal! I’m very lucky to have my friend as he is like no other and is irreplaceable in my heart and life. Several times he has made mention to me, what will he do when I leave for Thailand. I smile and know that he will be just fine at school without me. I also think to myself, what would I have done if I lost him? Denis Waitley said, “Time and health are two precious assets that we don’t recognize and appreciate until they have been depleted.” I’m so proud of my friend for making changes in his life to keep him around longer for those of us that love him to enjoy him a little longer. Or maybe it’s to keep those that are annoyed by him more frustrated? He can be a bit of a nuisance too…it’s part of his charm. God forbid he ever read this blog because he is an English teacher and I will get a full report back on all my mistakes, that is also part of his charm. I learned to keep those irreplaceable friends and family members close, because when they do have to leave, I want to know they left knowing how much I loved them.

Leaps and Bounds!!

They were made. Finally, my parents got to meet Len. Len is my Rotary father. He is my mentor, teacher and guru of the Thailand trip. Thankfully, he took about 4 hours out of his day to come to the school BBQ and meet with my parents. I debriefed with my parents afterwards and it things seemed to be genuinely pleasant. My parents got some re-assurance that I will be ok….I mean really, does such a thing exist? I do live in a city that has had two horrendous mass shootings so far, no that is not a challenge to re-create a more horrific one. I drive to work every day, isn’t that scary enough? It is to me, especially since I saw two accidents on the way to work this morning! I work at a school. I’m sure some student could be disgruntled and come back fuming with vengeance, I’ll be sitting in the main office like a duck on the pond ripe for the picking. Lucky for me, my school is more about character building and modeling rather than character molding. Our students are pretty darn cool.  

So now my conversations with my dad have changed from, “what can I do to make you stay?” to “hey, I might come visit you!”. Like I said….Leaps and Bounds!! My dad is pretty stubborn, ok that might be a slight understatement. My dad is notoriously obstinate! I learned it from somewhere right? All in all the day was pretty fantastic. After debriefing with the folks, I ran with my buddy Tess. She’s a B.E.A.S.T! She would totally deny it and down play it if approached on it, but the woman is pretty incredible. She ran a half marathon last Saturday with her daughter, ran a half marathon this weekend with her son, and ran 7.11 miles with me last night! She runs more miles than most people drive!  That’s why she’s my partner : )

Minus a little chub rub from my unfriendly running shorts, I’m feeling pretty good today.  

Unconventional

So I am an unconventional teacher at an unconventional school. We do things with our students because we are small and we want to impact students in ways that bigger schools can’t, don’t and won’t.  We take students on overnight trips, camping in the wilderness, rafting down rivers, rock climbing strenuous cliffs, cycling downtown, mountain biking Moab….I mean how cool right!? I love working here because I feel like we give students opportunities to experience things they might never do on their own. We build relationships. We empower thinking. We nurture thoughtfulness and self-awareness.

This week I spent 3 nights with students rafting the Colorado River and camping. It was tough. Not my favorite trip this year. 

Most of the students were amazing and I really enjoyed getting to know them.  There is just something about spending 72 hours with students in the wilderness that breaks down the barriers that most teenagers put up. Maybe its fear? Maybe its boredom? However, there were just a few students that made the trip more challenging than any other trip I’ve been on in the past. As someone mentioned to me already, it’s not just suppose to be challenging for the students right? Hmmmm…I guess so! Unfortunately, I watched the attitude of one individual plague the entire group. Entitlement and laziness has become a disease that affects lots of teens these days. It’s the natural byproduct of our instant society. Everything can be delivered and produced on a whim and discarded just as fast and easy, if not more so. Importance is put on owning the newest coolest gadget or gizmo rather than connecting with the actual heart and soul of people. HELLO! People cannot take things with them when they die! What they can do is make the most of the time spent with people that come into their life and take away the lessons learned from being around them.  All in all, the trip was good. I’m really going to miss the students here.

Muay Thai

Muay Thai. Thailand’s national sport! Muay Thai is to Thailand what baseball and football is to the United States.

So what is Muay Thai? Muay Thai is like kickboxing. It’s called the art of eight limbs because it uses hands, elbows, knees and feet for combat. Combat?

So who exactly am I fighting? Well mostly myself! Everyday it’s a fight to be better than I was the day before. To push myself harder than I did before.

The sport has truly saved my life. I was always an athlete. Since the age of 4 I’ve been climbing on kitchen countertops, trees, and drain spouts. After my parents caught me hanging on the refrigerator door, they knew I had to get into something to keep me busy. No, they didn’t put me in Muay Thai at the age of 4! However, in Thailand, that is not uncommon. I played softball. I played it so much, I eventually became a collegiate athlete in the sport and received scholarship money! Isn’t that every athletes dream? YES!! So what happens when it’s all over? What does a collegiate athlete do with themselves after they have reached that level and graduated? I entered the workforce. I worked 8-10 hour days. I stopped at the fast food restaurant on the way home and sat on the couch watching the boob-tube. Depressing uh? Yep, the sedentary American lifestyle is not all it’s cracked up to be. After a few months of this routine, my clothes didn’t fit anymore. I had gained 50 pounds! I was miserable and something had to be done. I hate going to the gym. I need something progressive, something with accountability and camaraderie. So I joined a martial arts school that offered Muay Thai. Little did I know at that time, it was going to change my life forever! Not only did I feel better about myself working out and noticed myself getting stronger, I also had this re-assured feeling. I felt confident in my abilities to protect myself. I looked people in the eye and no longer stared at the ground when people talked to me.

Here I am 4 years later, teaching it to teenagers in high school. Hoping to give the same gift to young minds that I have found for myself in this wonderful sport. Come January, I’ll be fully immersed in the great country that the sport originated, grew and flourished. I…..CAN’T……WAIT!  

Rotary Meetings

Dare this be, two days in a row? Shhhh.....

I got to attend the Rotary meeting yesterday...great stuff. Good presentations. Heard about the 3D printer. I've only heard about them once on the news. I don't have cable so its very rare that I watch TV. However, I got to see the machine, the process, and the finished product! Pretty hi-tech, maybe a little too much for me but cool nonetheless. Check them out... Also heard about Comitis Crisis Center. They provide shelter and food to homeless families, they are seeing 7 times the amount of people that they did last year, pretty necessary service they provide. The demand is growing and they provide 1300 meals in a night to families. That's a lot of dishes! They are talking with the City Council and Mayor because of their exponential growth and demand! About Comitis The member from Comitis that presented to the club gave a generous donation towards my trip. Thank you! I'm sure I'll be volunteering soon to help with food prep or story telling. Last but not least, there was a new member inducted. He represents InnovAge. A great geriatrics organization, I was particularly interested in this service since my grandmother is 87 and could use a little help! InnovAge Info

After that, I was off to work. School starts next week...yay! 5 months until Thailand...I think a timeline/countdown is in order!

My First Official Fundraiser

Brain dump time! That’s what happens when you don’t take the time to actually write every day. It all gets stored and saved up and then EXPLODES!

I had my first fundraiser for my trip a week ago today. All in all it was good. We had a workout, dinner and a movie at the gym. Not as many people showed as I anticipated but the ones that did show were my closest friends and I’m very thankful for that. I also had a TON of help from everyone getting it all pulled together. Without them I would have been a wreck! I got to pilot a simultaneous workout with my sparring partner. It’s never been done in our gym and since we just expanded, it was fun to see how we could make that work. It went really well, and by well I mean everyone was sweating and got a good workout! We had a guest speaker who did a great job talking about the Rotary and Thailand project. Folks were interested and asking questions, but we did go over time and the food got cold and people started to get HANGRY! (hungry+angry) I also did not provide a vegetarian option….hello, how did I forget that? I knew full well some of my guests were vegetarians! Oppps! We had a bunch of food left over since I thought more people were going to show. So we did send food home with a lot of our hangry friends. I think we started the movie at about 8:30pm. So after the movie and clean up, it was 1am when I got home. After expenses I made $250. I had a lot of very generous donations, thank you for that! Fundraisers are a lot of work! You have to plan, prepare and repeat!

My favorite is the follow up, the thank you afterwards. I always have this very gracious feeling toward mankind after I have been shown a great deal of gratitude, I love that feeling. So what’s next on the fundraiser front?? Well I have survival bracelets for sale. They come in a variety of colors and are hand made by a very smart 16 year old. He needs the money and so do I, so buy some ok? They’re $10. Maybe a karaoke night next?