My Laotian is worse than my Thai!
Mae recently purchased me for 3,000 Baht. I think that is rather
decent considering it’s less that $100 dollars American money!
When I arrived to Thailand I received the 30 day tourist visa. Wait, I’m staying for a year right? So I needed to obtain a working visa and a work permit to stay in the kingdom and teach. Easier said than done, thus leading to my voyage to Laos. My contract for working at the University was completed on January 31st, even though I started teaching January 13th. My visa for Thailand expired on February 5th. On January 31st I was sent to the labor office to get my work permit. I was told I needed the work visa first. On February 3rd, I was told I was leaving the next day for Laos to get the work visa. However, I wasn’t informed how many days I would be gone or what to expect so packing was a challenge. I can survive just about any situation as long as I have clean underwear, my pillow, sunglasses and headphones.
I was picked up at 9am on the morning of February 4th. After riding eight hours with two women from the University, we stayed one night in Nong Khai, Thailand. The next morning we were picked up by a driver to take us across the border into Laos. Our destination was Vientiane, the capital of Laos, also the home of the Thai Embassy. I am the first American the University has ever had the pleasure of indulging in this experience, so I tried to be very patient and understanding. Oh yea, and not cuss or bite my nails.
As an American citizen, I needed to first obtain a Laos visa. The cost of a Laos visa is 800 Baht. However, if I did not want to wait in the horrendous line, I could pay an additional 1,000 Baht for a more speedy process. The line of people was about 60 individuals deep, averaging 20-25 minutes per Laos’s visa. Seeing as how I needed to be at the Thai embassy before 11:30am, I of course paid the additional money and waited 15 minutes. The driver then took us to the Thai Embassy, or should I say to the stand of men filling out paperwork in front of the Thai Embassy. One man filled out all my paperwork for me and then told me 200 Baht….WHAT!? The forms are in English! I could have done that!! Ugh….fine, I gave him the money.
I walked inside the Thai Embassy to get the queue number. The number they call to check your paperwork and tell you if it is all correct, you can get the visa. More times than not, you are turned away. The embassy has the right to request additional documents if necessary. I felt pretty confident since I had my application filled out by a “professional” and the rest of the paperwork was prepared by the two women from my University. Once my number was called, I strutted up to the window thinking…I got this in the bag. The man systematically checked my paperwork and asked for the president’s card…in Thai. I looked back at the two women I was traveling with and my distressed face was clearly the red flag signal. They came up to the window to speak with the man. Ok, I will go sit my pouty baby butt back down.
Since the contract is prepared by the University and signed by the president of the University, the Embassy requires a copy of the identification card of the president with his signature. One of the women immediately got on the phone to call the University. Remember the Embassy closes at 11:30am. It was now 11:20am. The other woman asked if they would give us 5 extra minutes to get the paper, a firm NO was given…in Thai. Once the line is finished, that is it. Someone at the University got a copy of the card and signature and emailed it immediately to the woman that called. She ran to the nearest hotel and asked to print the email and then ran back to the Embassy, remember it’s HOT outside! Sweet baby Jesus or Buddha, I’m back in line at 11:29:30. All is good. I’m approved. Leave my passport and pick it up the next day at 1:30pm with a completed Kingdom of Thailand working class B visa.
I know the United States Government told me to never leave my passport, ever, but what happens in Laos, stays in Laos. Unless of course you are writing to everyone back home about it. So night number two of our stay on this adventure, I hope I packed enough clean underwear.
Afterwards, the two women from the University wanted to have some fun and I completely understood. Babysitting the farang is hard work and they deserve some type of reward for their time and effort. So we were carted off to varies shopping centers in search of souvenirs to take back home for the people these women actually enjoy spending time with. I usually waited in the van or sat in front of the store.
Don’t forget I said Mae purchased me for 3,000 Baht, because this voyage was not cheap. Here’s a recap- I paid 3,000 Baht for a driver to chauffeur us in Laos. I paid 2,000 Baht for my Laos visa. I paid 200 Baht for the pleasure of watching some man scribble my name on paper and would have to pay 2,000 Baht to pick up by passport with the Thailand visa. The University did pick up the tab on my hotel stays, meals and fuel for the woman that drove to the Laos boarder. We had to hire a driver in Laos since she does not have a Laos’ license. These kinds of details can either be beautiful or dreadful, depending on your patience and pliability. When I signed up for my Thailand trip, I was told I would not need to carry much money with me and I would be paid at the end of January for my teaching. Naturally, I did not listen to the first part because when traveling many times money is the only thing that can talk when you cannot. Logically, since I didn’t have a working visa until February, I wasn’t going to be getting paid at the end of January. The unexpected trip and expenses were a bit of a shock since I needed to make my money last until the end of February. Good thing bananas grow on trees at the University so I won’t starve, but at least then I could achieve an Asian figure!! So lucky for me, Mae and her family spotted me 3,000 Baht for the trip.
After waiting in several shopping centers and barely holding my head up for dinner, I retired for the evening in my Laos hotel room. I will say it was one of the best showers I have had since I made the trip to Thailand, naturally, it was in Laos. The next morning we checked out at noon and headed to the Thai Embassy. We arrived at about 12:30pm and waited in the sitting area. At 1pm they would distribute the queue numbers so you can pick up your passport. One farang ran into the Embassy frantically begging in English for the Embassy to let him submit his paperwork for the visa. In Thai culture, making a scene is a no-no. This infuriated the man that took my papers the day before and he kicked everyone out of the sitting area.
All the patrons now stand outside the shiny barred gates that barricade the front of the embassy. I stood in the sun until the queue numbers were given, I love sunglasses. I recognized most of the people from the day before and we all shared the same frustrations so at least we collectively joked about our experience.
I met one woman from Seattle who was moving to Thailand to take care of her mother. Her father was an American military service man who married a Thai woman and eventually retired in Thailand. Now her father had passed away and she was taking care of her mother. She was getting a visa for her daughter to attend school in Thailand. They were super cool people and it was refreshing to talk to another American. They live in Chang Mai which has the elephant reserve that I will see before I leave Thailand, so hopefully I will see her again.
At 1:08pm, the polished barricade opened and queue numbers were given, I was number 9! We could now sit in the waiting area until 1:30pm when the embassy workers would start calling numbers. The waiting area is outside under a shaded canopy with seats and the pick-up window is in the air conditioned building. Thank goodness for my water bottle, I spent the next 22 minutes downing as much water as possible to replenish what I had lost standing in line.
Finally all the patrons were ushered into the air conditioned building to pick up a newly improved passport, hopefully complete with a visa! However, no instructions were given of what order or systemic method should be followed. Naturally the majority of people just rush the one window that is open. So when number 35 gets to the window, the women just gives the number back and looks at the next person. I held up my number to show everyone I was number nine in hopes of establishing some sort of numerical positioning. It worked! See dad, I can do math or count at least, in Thai, Spanish and English! What a great headstone quote that would be, better than Sweaty Betty.
Once it was my turn to pay 2,000 Baht and receive my passport and new Thailand visa, I was told to check three things. First, the name on the passport, just to verify it was actually mine. Second, the type of visa and ensure I received the right category of visa and third, the spelling of my information on the visa. Seemed logical and all were accurate so it was finally time to leave the Thai Embassy and head back to Thailand! As I practically skipped off the Embassy compound, I made sure to wave to my new Laos friends who had taken me for 200 Baht for filling out my paperwork. They were occupied with an intense game of poker and arguing who was next to drive the tuk tuk. I knew this because the loser of the game threw down his cards and crossed the street to start offering tuk tuk rides to the patrons leaving the Embassy.
The women from my University were busy looking for our own driver. They called his phone and no answer. We searched the surrounding area for the van and no luck. Hmm….maybe he had to go home for number two? We walked one block to the hotel that had graciously printed the email the day before for my visa paperwork. I could tell my travel companions were not thrilled to be waiting and receiving no response from calling the driver. It was 2:15pm and 45 minutes later the driver arrived to pick us up, I thought for sure he was going to get strangled.
We headed towards the Laos boarder and I asked if we would be traveling home tonight. Definitely not, we were going to drive for about four hours and then stay the night. I certainly did not pack enough clean underwear, but at least I had snacks and those were coming in very handy right now since we had not eaten since breakfast.
As we approached the Laos boarder, the driver dropped us off to walk through customs. I had never seen my pillow be fondled so crudely, I thought to myself, “I’ll be washing my pillow case twice as soon as I get home!” After passing a thorough inspection, we returned to the SUV belonging to one of my travel companions and started the drive back to Phetchabun. The two women are very close friends and have worked together at the University for over 10 years. They had a lot to discuss, in Thai. Headphones on, dreamland here I come.
When I woke up we were in Khon kaen, the half way mark. We were at a bus terminal. One of my travel companions was taking the bus back to Phetchabun that night. She was given a very important last minute project and needed to ensure her attendance at the University bright and ugly the next day. I said a very heavy eyed sluggish good bye and lay back down. We headed to our hotel to check in; our Laos trio was now a duo. After checking in, we dined at the ever famous 7/11 for dinner and returned to our room. Before going to bed for the evening, I washed my underwear. My mother always told me clean underwear makes a person complete and these days I can’t afford to have any more fallacies.
The next day we planned to wake up by 6am, have breakfast and be on the road by 7am. The woman from the University asked me if I would be able to wake up at this time. I have this stubbornness about me…. shocking, I know. Whenever someone asks if I’m capable of something, I generally try to blow it out of the water. I want to prove I’m not only capable, I’m exceptional. Therefore, I woke up at 5am, showered, packed and ate breakfast before 6:15am. We were on the road to Phetchabun by 6:45am and arrived at 11am, just in time for me to go home and change into my work “uniform” and teach my afternoon classes. At 4:30pm, which is quitting time, all I could say is, “TGIF!”
When I arrived to Thailand I received the 30 day tourist visa. Wait, I’m staying for a year right? So I needed to obtain a working visa and a work permit to stay in the kingdom and teach. Easier said than done, thus leading to my voyage to Laos. My contract for working at the University was completed on January 31st, even though I started teaching January 13th. My visa for Thailand expired on February 5th. On January 31st I was sent to the labor office to get my work permit. I was told I needed the work visa first. On February 3rd, I was told I was leaving the next day for Laos to get the work visa. However, I wasn’t informed how many days I would be gone or what to expect so packing was a challenge. I can survive just about any situation as long as I have clean underwear, my pillow, sunglasses and headphones.
I was picked up at 9am on the morning of February 4th. After riding eight hours with two women from the University, we stayed one night in Nong Khai, Thailand. The next morning we were picked up by a driver to take us across the border into Laos. Our destination was Vientiane, the capital of Laos, also the home of the Thai Embassy. I am the first American the University has ever had the pleasure of indulging in this experience, so I tried to be very patient and understanding. Oh yea, and not cuss or bite my nails.
As an American citizen, I needed to first obtain a Laos visa. The cost of a Laos visa is 800 Baht. However, if I did not want to wait in the horrendous line, I could pay an additional 1,000 Baht for a more speedy process. The line of people was about 60 individuals deep, averaging 20-25 minutes per Laos’s visa. Seeing as how I needed to be at the Thai embassy before 11:30am, I of course paid the additional money and waited 15 minutes. The driver then took us to the Thai Embassy, or should I say to the stand of men filling out paperwork in front of the Thai Embassy. One man filled out all my paperwork for me and then told me 200 Baht….WHAT!? The forms are in English! I could have done that!! Ugh….fine, I gave him the money.
I walked inside the Thai Embassy to get the queue number. The number they call to check your paperwork and tell you if it is all correct, you can get the visa. More times than not, you are turned away. The embassy has the right to request additional documents if necessary. I felt pretty confident since I had my application filled out by a “professional” and the rest of the paperwork was prepared by the two women from my University. Once my number was called, I strutted up to the window thinking…I got this in the bag. The man systematically checked my paperwork and asked for the president’s card…in Thai. I looked back at the two women I was traveling with and my distressed face was clearly the red flag signal. They came up to the window to speak with the man. Ok, I will go sit my pouty baby butt back down.
Since the contract is prepared by the University and signed by the president of the University, the Embassy requires a copy of the identification card of the president with his signature. One of the women immediately got on the phone to call the University. Remember the Embassy closes at 11:30am. It was now 11:20am. The other woman asked if they would give us 5 extra minutes to get the paper, a firm NO was given…in Thai. Once the line is finished, that is it. Someone at the University got a copy of the card and signature and emailed it immediately to the woman that called. She ran to the nearest hotel and asked to print the email and then ran back to the Embassy, remember it’s HOT outside! Sweet baby Jesus or Buddha, I’m back in line at 11:29:30. All is good. I’m approved. Leave my passport and pick it up the next day at 1:30pm with a completed Kingdom of Thailand working class B visa.
I know the United States Government told me to never leave my passport, ever, but what happens in Laos, stays in Laos. Unless of course you are writing to everyone back home about it. So night number two of our stay on this adventure, I hope I packed enough clean underwear.
Afterwards, the two women from the University wanted to have some fun and I completely understood. Babysitting the farang is hard work and they deserve some type of reward for their time and effort. So we were carted off to varies shopping centers in search of souvenirs to take back home for the people these women actually enjoy spending time with. I usually waited in the van or sat in front of the store.
Don’t forget I said Mae purchased me for 3,000 Baht, because this voyage was not cheap. Here’s a recap- I paid 3,000 Baht for a driver to chauffeur us in Laos. I paid 2,000 Baht for my Laos visa. I paid 200 Baht for the pleasure of watching some man scribble my name on paper and would have to pay 2,000 Baht to pick up by passport with the Thailand visa. The University did pick up the tab on my hotel stays, meals and fuel for the woman that drove to the Laos boarder. We had to hire a driver in Laos since she does not have a Laos’ license. These kinds of details can either be beautiful or dreadful, depending on your patience and pliability. When I signed up for my Thailand trip, I was told I would not need to carry much money with me and I would be paid at the end of January for my teaching. Naturally, I did not listen to the first part because when traveling many times money is the only thing that can talk when you cannot. Logically, since I didn’t have a working visa until February, I wasn’t going to be getting paid at the end of January. The unexpected trip and expenses were a bit of a shock since I needed to make my money last until the end of February. Good thing bananas grow on trees at the University so I won’t starve, but at least then I could achieve an Asian figure!! So lucky for me, Mae and her family spotted me 3,000 Baht for the trip.
After waiting in several shopping centers and barely holding my head up for dinner, I retired for the evening in my Laos hotel room. I will say it was one of the best showers I have had since I made the trip to Thailand, naturally, it was in Laos. The next morning we checked out at noon and headed to the Thai Embassy. We arrived at about 12:30pm and waited in the sitting area. At 1pm they would distribute the queue numbers so you can pick up your passport. One farang ran into the Embassy frantically begging in English for the Embassy to let him submit his paperwork for the visa. In Thai culture, making a scene is a no-no. This infuriated the man that took my papers the day before and he kicked everyone out of the sitting area.
All the patrons now stand outside the shiny barred gates that barricade the front of the embassy. I stood in the sun until the queue numbers were given, I love sunglasses. I recognized most of the people from the day before and we all shared the same frustrations so at least we collectively joked about our experience.
I met one woman from Seattle who was moving to Thailand to take care of her mother. Her father was an American military service man who married a Thai woman and eventually retired in Thailand. Now her father had passed away and she was taking care of her mother. She was getting a visa for her daughter to attend school in Thailand. They were super cool people and it was refreshing to talk to another American. They live in Chang Mai which has the elephant reserve that I will see before I leave Thailand, so hopefully I will see her again.
At 1:08pm, the polished barricade opened and queue numbers were given, I was number 9! We could now sit in the waiting area until 1:30pm when the embassy workers would start calling numbers. The waiting area is outside under a shaded canopy with seats and the pick-up window is in the air conditioned building. Thank goodness for my water bottle, I spent the next 22 minutes downing as much water as possible to replenish what I had lost standing in line.
Finally all the patrons were ushered into the air conditioned building to pick up a newly improved passport, hopefully complete with a visa! However, no instructions were given of what order or systemic method should be followed. Naturally the majority of people just rush the one window that is open. So when number 35 gets to the window, the women just gives the number back and looks at the next person. I held up my number to show everyone I was number nine in hopes of establishing some sort of numerical positioning. It worked! See dad, I can do math or count at least, in Thai, Spanish and English! What a great headstone quote that would be, better than Sweaty Betty.
Once it was my turn to pay 2,000 Baht and receive my passport and new Thailand visa, I was told to check three things. First, the name on the passport, just to verify it was actually mine. Second, the type of visa and ensure I received the right category of visa and third, the spelling of my information on the visa. Seemed logical and all were accurate so it was finally time to leave the Thai Embassy and head back to Thailand! As I practically skipped off the Embassy compound, I made sure to wave to my new Laos friends who had taken me for 200 Baht for filling out my paperwork. They were occupied with an intense game of poker and arguing who was next to drive the tuk tuk. I knew this because the loser of the game threw down his cards and crossed the street to start offering tuk tuk rides to the patrons leaving the Embassy.
The women from my University were busy looking for our own driver. They called his phone and no answer. We searched the surrounding area for the van and no luck. Hmm….maybe he had to go home for number two? We walked one block to the hotel that had graciously printed the email the day before for my visa paperwork. I could tell my travel companions were not thrilled to be waiting and receiving no response from calling the driver. It was 2:15pm and 45 minutes later the driver arrived to pick us up, I thought for sure he was going to get strangled.
We headed towards the Laos boarder and I asked if we would be traveling home tonight. Definitely not, we were going to drive for about four hours and then stay the night. I certainly did not pack enough clean underwear, but at least I had snacks and those were coming in very handy right now since we had not eaten since breakfast.
As we approached the Laos boarder, the driver dropped us off to walk through customs. I had never seen my pillow be fondled so crudely, I thought to myself, “I’ll be washing my pillow case twice as soon as I get home!” After passing a thorough inspection, we returned to the SUV belonging to one of my travel companions and started the drive back to Phetchabun. The two women are very close friends and have worked together at the University for over 10 years. They had a lot to discuss, in Thai. Headphones on, dreamland here I come.
When I woke up we were in Khon kaen, the half way mark. We were at a bus terminal. One of my travel companions was taking the bus back to Phetchabun that night. She was given a very important last minute project and needed to ensure her attendance at the University bright and ugly the next day. I said a very heavy eyed sluggish good bye and lay back down. We headed to our hotel to check in; our Laos trio was now a duo. After checking in, we dined at the ever famous 7/11 for dinner and returned to our room. Before going to bed for the evening, I washed my underwear. My mother always told me clean underwear makes a person complete and these days I can’t afford to have any more fallacies.
The next day we planned to wake up by 6am, have breakfast and be on the road by 7am. The woman from the University asked me if I would be able to wake up at this time. I have this stubbornness about me…. shocking, I know. Whenever someone asks if I’m capable of something, I generally try to blow it out of the water. I want to prove I’m not only capable, I’m exceptional. Therefore, I woke up at 5am, showered, packed and ate breakfast before 6:15am. We were on the road to Phetchabun by 6:45am and arrived at 11am, just in time for me to go home and change into my work “uniform” and teach my afternoon classes. At 4:30pm, which is quitting time, all I could say is, “TGIF!”
Who wears the pants?
Do I even need to answer?
I wore pants to work!! Who cares, right? They were nice
dress pants that I believe make my rump look favorable. However, as a female
teacher at the University, the dress code for women states knee length dresses
and skirts are the ONLY acceptable professional means of dress. That detail
would have been great to have prior to my arrival. All right, no more pants at
work. Remember the cold showers and how I’m not shaving? Remember I’m covered
in bug bites?? Hey, if the University doesn't care, neither do I!! Knee length
skirts and dresses ONLY from now on. Oh wait, I only packed two skirts. Packing
for this trip was definitely an ordeal. So naturally I procrastinated to the
last possible second, throwing things in a suitcase at 3am the morning I was scheduled
for departure. I asked all my friends, if you were leaving for a year, what
would you take?? I was so conflicted between being a female that needs four of
everything in different colors and being a minimalist that didn't want to pay
for a suitcase over 50 pounds and look like a ridiculous American! Well the
ridiculous American ship has sailed. Also, I was told I could buy whatever
clothing I needed once I arrived.
Of the two skirts I brought, one is a jean skirt and unfortunately jean skirts are unacceptable. Alright, now I’m down to one skirt and I do work five days a week. Once again, Mae and her family rescued me. Mae’s mom gave me four of her skirts and they fit! I also received a super cute Thai style skirt from Mae and her family for my birthday. Next time I wear pants to work, I will be writing a letter to the president of the University stating why I wore pants. I don’t think he cares about stubble, bug bites or chub rub. Every time I Skype my mom in the morning before work, she cheerfully says, “you’re wearing a skirt!” I remind her that it is a part of my “uniform” and I must wear a skirt every day. I appreciate her joyful demeanor and it can’t be entirely bad if it excites my mother.
Of the two skirts I brought, one is a jean skirt and unfortunately jean skirts are unacceptable. Alright, now I’m down to one skirt and I do work five days a week. Once again, Mae and her family rescued me. Mae’s mom gave me four of her skirts and they fit! I also received a super cute Thai style skirt from Mae and her family for my birthday. Next time I wear pants to work, I will be writing a letter to the president of the University stating why I wore pants. I don’t think he cares about stubble, bug bites or chub rub. Every time I Skype my mom in the morning before work, she cheerfully says, “you’re wearing a skirt!” I remind her that it is a part of my “uniform” and I must wear a skirt every day. I appreciate her joyful demeanor and it can’t be entirely bad if it excites my mother.
Militant Students.
Actually the students are very obedient, respectful and
well-trained. I wanted to talk about this…but after further review, this might
be a better topic to discuss after I am no longer an employee of the
University. I will say this though, Pink Floyd “Another Brick in the Wall, Part II”.
Coming soon, the long awaited MUAY THAI UPDATE!
